Selfish Mom=Happy Mom? Oh so Vrai

Declaration: A mom has the most under appreciated role in society.

Go ahead, try to argue with me. I dare you. You cannot argue against empirical knowledge. Just like you cannot argue against the shortest distance between two points being a straight line, you cannot argue that moms are the most giving members of society. Often, we put ourselves last and while we give all of the time, we don't even know how to receive most of the time. Am I wrong moms? We volunteer to take care of anyone but when we need a favor, we are often left uncomfortably skirmish and like a school girl. At least I am. For me to ask my mom to babysit requires days of rehearsal. I think you will agree that most of us put ourselves last on the list. I am here to tell you to stop. Stop giving. Stop listening. Stop providing. Just one minute, hear me out.

Last week, my husband was out of town (as usual), this time in his company HQ in Paris. I would be left at home to take on both mom and dad duties for the whole week. My husband, in his usual manner, offered to bring me to Paris for the weekend. My usual answer, "Oh thank you, but the magazine is about to go into blueline and we have billing to update and taxes to prepare and our son has club and daughter has ballet. I simply cannot". Notice not one excuse would be about me.

(Crepes avec Nutella. What can ever be wrong with this picture?)


I surprised him and said yes this time. I would fly Thursday night, get there Friday morning and return Sunday midday. Who in their right mind would fly all the way to Europe for technically, one a half day and two nights? I WOULD. I DID. I thought about me. I needed a break. The magazine would be fine. I allocated proofing duties to my office. Pressured my printer to get me bluelines early and didn't even ask my mom to come to babysit, I told her. This is so unlike me. I left. I didn't even look back.

(More dessert and more caffeine. Not much different than home. Except it is usually never a hot cup of coffee and the dessert is in the form of me licking my kid's leftovers.)

Wait. Before I left, I got an outfit, got my haircut and my nails done. I even bought a pair of skinny jeans. I am having a revolution so don't stop me. All my life I think about everyone else but me. This weekend, I would change.

I did.

I got to Paris and felt so liberated, I cannot even tell you. I never called home (okay only 2-3 times). I tried not to think about any of my responsibilities. I made it a point not to talk about the kids with my hubby and climbed to the top of the Eiffel using the stairs. Ok, not the summit but the second floor. While I did it, I noticed I didn't have a single thought in my mind. Nothing. My mind was blank. In the moment. What a feeling! When was the last time your mind was empty from worry and responsibility?

I slept until 12 (noon) the first day I was there. I slept! Until 12! The last time I did that, I was 22.

So why am I telling you all of this? For the first time since becoming a mom, I thought about me. I did what was right for me. I was happy. I rested. I slept. When I returned my kids were all in tact. No one harmed. The middle floor of our house got flooded but I did not even care. My kids missed me and I missed them. I am tired from the travel but so rested for having the 2 days to myself.

I want to tell you, you do not need to go to Paris. It could be a short trip to the gym, a 15 minute bath alone or reading a book at the park by yourself. You liberacation (sounds kinda weird but you get my point) should be something done only for you. No one else. To do what makes you happy, not what is convenient for others.

Take my advice and love yourself, be a little selfish. You will be a better mom.

(Me in happiness...)